Why fear?

23rd Mar 2018
Photo of Why fear? 1/4 by Sujata Athor
Photo of Why fear? 2/4 by Sujata Athor

So what do you fear? Don't tell me nothing. We all fear something and it's okay to fear, it's a feeling after all. Ability to feel is what makes us human and separates us from machine. Though it's a travel blog I always tried to throw light on human behavior, issues and psychology through my travel stories.

People often call me courageous, strong and bold women they know but l do have my own fear. For example writing this blog. It's been long time l am only thinking to write about my Goa trip experience but not able to start and finish it as I kept thinking how people will react to it? Is it too bold to write about it? Will there be any controversial talks? Am l going to hurt anyone's feeling through this write-up? So many questions like these but today l have overcome my fear and hence writing about it.

Photo of Why fear? 3/4 by Sujata Athor

So here l am trying to put my words together and gathering all the courage that l have to pen down about my experience of Goa We could barely sleep at night due to the excitement on road trip to Goa. Around 25 youngsters on board and everyone was dreaming about what will they do after reaching Goa. We took break at Tarkarli beach to enjoy water sports and enjoyed scuba diving, parasailing and many adventurous rides on tides. "The land of beaches". Awesome experience!!! Somewhere around 4.00pm after exerting in water we started for Goa from Tarkarli and reached by sundown. As organizer l gave instructions to hotel staff to allocate rooms and started helping everyone. Suddenly a girl came to me when l was standing aside to check whether everyone is settled or not? She was asking me something which l could not hear properly so to help her and listen to what she is saying l went closer to her instead of shouting from distance and what the f**K!!! what just happened? It took me some time to come out of shock and realize that she grabbed me by my neck and kissed me. Oops... what should l do? What should l say to her? Should l call someone? Well.... l just pushed her away and walked to my room as mind had stopped working. I would have end up slapping if it was done by a guy but since she was girl l did not know how to react.

Everyone was so tired but excited for shack party while l was thinking about the evening shock however l got ready for party and went to shack but yeah so many thoughts were still bothering me. So I called my boyfriend to normalize my situation and told him everything and guess what that idiot must have said "how was the experience?" l felt like punching him on his nose. "Well... well... well... l am pretty much straight" I said to him. "Then why are you pissed off anyway this is not the first time some girl have tried to hit on you" he said. Which made me think about my previous experience. The girl was from my first job and she never kissed me or even touch me that way but she tried to be good friend to me, impress me, used to gifts me stuffs like how guys do when they are interested in a girl. Her that behavior never made me feel awkward, uncomfortable or disturbed. I never even got to know that she is lesbian until she told me so and kind of proposed. I feel that was the right approach and what Goa girl did was absolutely wrong. It was completely against my will.

Photo of Why fear? 4/4 by Sujata Athor

Not only me later she made other girls also uncomfortable with her behavior and hence girls were running away from her. Few guys who learned about her sexuality have end up making fun of her which l didn't liked but l what could l have done about it? Honestly I could have accept her as a friend without any fear but as she did not make me feel comfortable l instead chose to be away, in fact I even ignored conversation with her. I felt really sorry but couldn't do anything. Same thing can happen to every homo out there and you might end up losing good friends who might accept you the way you are and support you in a way. Yes, there are broad-minded people who are open to discuss these things positively. Even I am not anti-lesbian or gay but in my opinion they should first not fear to accept who they are and should not do wrong things like Goa girl did.

So don't fear accept yourself and tell the world in a right way............