I was on the left. Beas was in the middle. And I had to cross the river to reach the right where, I was around 70% sure, my trek was supposed to start. And I was again 70% sure that there was supposed to be a snow/wooden bridge to get me to the other side according to the blogposts I had read. Well, my search for the bridge started. I kept climbing the mountain on the left side of the river but I could not spot any such bridge. Where was it? Time was ticking, the river was getting angrier and it was getting increasingly difficult to walk because of stones getting fewer in number and river sticking to the side of the mountain. After spending around one hour which had taken me around 2-3kms further, I gave up my search and decided to cross the river without a bridge. It did not seem that difficult after all. But, well, I was WRONG. That's where the river gets you. Let me tell you that however much you like nature, you have to know that it kills. A river is a treacherous beauty. It lures you into its trap. Its curves are an illusion, its flow a mirage. It seems to tread calmly, as if slithering over rocks like a serpentine but it is as much vicious, quick and agile, ferocious and furious, ready to gulp you down and vanish. I spent almost two hours trying to find the perfect spot to cross the river but I never found one. The river played mind games with me. Every other minute, I would squint to look beyond few metres where the river would seem perfectly wide and laid with rocks to step over and cross the river but after reaching it, I would curse under my breath for the stones would be too far from each other and river too wide to cross. I also thought of throwing my bag to the other side and then jump into the river and watch out for the nearby rocks, grab them and land on the other side somehow but the river was freezing, numbing my body the second I dipped in. I felt incredibly stupid and adventurous at the same time. I was mad over myself for letting myself down. But then I felt more stupid for cribbing and fretting so much when I could simply enjoy for trying something new in my life. I gave my last attempts and then started heading back, my hopes shattered but enjoying the failure. The way back was so tiring that I had to rest on boulders every now and then. Sometimes I felt stuck in the middle of nowhere, a bit scared as well. But I would tap my heart three times while saying "All is well" and kept myself going. (It works!) I was half wet already and the fog was settling in. Clouds were gathering as if to haunt me, to tell me that I had had enough for the day. I was retreating while touching the same flowers I had touched while coming up. But suddenly, I spotted something. Voila!