Why I would spend my bank balance on travelling rather than on a big fat wedding!

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Photo of Why I would spend my bank balance on travelling rather than on a big fat wedding! 1/1 by Akanksha Biswas

In India, a woman or even a man is considered to be “settled” when he/she is married in a good family and a good spouse. This article is not going to be anything about gender equality or demoralizing a really pure and beautiful tradition. However, this article is going to revolve around “choices”. The choices that I want to make with my life and why they are correct for me and everyone who wants to make these choices.

Coming to marriages, whether they are in India or anywhere else in this world, people shed a huge amount of money in them and as much as I have seen, hosting a big fat Indian wedding has become more of a show-off than a custom. Nowadays, people spend lakhs of rupees for just one wedding and it is considered to be just normal. However, this normality is not for me. It is nice that people want to get married but it is also perfectly okay if someone does not want to.

I, on instance, do not believe in the concept of marriage and having kids later on (which is apparently the next step for being “settled”). I would prefer to spend lakhs of rupees on travelling the world over a big fat wedding and this choice is completely justified.

1. I want different things from my life.

It is not necessary that everyone wants to have a married life to get settled. At the end you need to be satisfied with your life and have a smile on your face when you look back. I found my happiness in traveling and I know that this cannot be replaced with anything else. Maybe my idea of a ‘Happily Ever After’ is different from others.

2. Invest in travelling to get a life full of experiences.

When I compare the amount of money invested in a wedding to the same amount invested in travelling, I found out that the latter gives more returns. I mean that you spend so much money for one day to host hundreds of people for a dinner, who judge the function on how tasty the food was (haha); later on do not even remember it. But when you invest on a road trip or a year-long tour to Europe, you get such experiences that feed your soul and change you as a person for your whole life.

3. I cannot forget myself and be selfless.

I have seen all the women in my life, from my mother to my elder married sisters; selflessly put every person who is dear to them before themselves. My mother had sacrificed a lot of her wishes for us and has learnt to be immensely selfless. I love all of them but I do not want to be like them. It is not because what they have done in their life is lame but because I do not have the courage to be so selfless and think about so many people before myself.

4. Because being settled has another meaning for me

For me, settling down means that I have travelled around the whole world, visited unknown and unexplored places, made friends worldwide and ticked off everything in my bucket list. I would find solace not at the home that I have nurtured and cared for but in the place that I had always wished to go to. Unlike most people, I do not want a beautiful home to come back to. All I want is to get a one way ticket and start my lifelong journey with no definite plan.

5. You do not require the certification of marriage to live and travel with your loved one

I want to have a happy life with my partner and travel the whole world with him. On the contrary, what I do not need is a stamp of being married to that person just so that the society does not judge us for living and travelling together. And it may also happen that on some of these journeys you find the person you were looking for your whole life. It is better to give yourself the time to fall in love than living a compromised life.

Lastly, I would end with saying that it is okay to have a great married life but it also okay to want something else from your life. It should be made into a choice, not a compulsion. Being settled does not only mean having a family, it means to have a constant pace with your life. And travelling is the constant of my life. That is why I would prefer to have a happy life travelling.

6 Comment(s)
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Omg...You'te exactly My Twin. I Believe everything you just wrote Its Beautiful the post. KUDOS
Sun 06 25 17, 07:56 · Reply · Report
You totally stole my thoughts!! Spending on weddings, obliging people you didn't know is hell!! Rather spend on traveling!! And that point where you mentioned you want a partner with whom you can travel is exactly my thoughts are!! Perfect !!
Sat 01 21 17, 00:44 · Reply · Report
I am already married. But its my dream to travel the world and keep on travelling. But I dont have much wealth to fulfill my dreams. So I want to do Job in which I can full my dream of travelling as well earn income . Can you advise some career option in which i can travel the world as well as earn if possible.
Tue 12 13 16, 13:17 · Reply · Report
my brain always swings to and fro b/w "let my parents be happy if they want a fat wedding ,let them do it", on the other hand brain says"think about what u cud do with all tht cash,places u cud go,ppl u cud meet,cultures u cud assimilate", so the question still remains " to be or not to be(selfish)"
Mon 12 12 16, 03:01 · Reply (1) · Report
I just feel like following my heart. I love my parents but I am going to spend my life not my parents. So I would love to be selfish in all means.
Mon 12 12 16, 07:59 · Report
I completely respect your point of view and agree to many of your points. But if I say about myself, yes I love travelling and every perk of it, every destination is a new experience, but for me marriage is also an experience, an experience of lifetime! Where you are the hero and all the eyes are on you. I don't want to look back when I am in my old 40s feeling that I have missed on something which I no longer can achieve the same way. Yeah I would love to have a big fat Indian wedding spending lots of bucks just to enjoy one single day, Because I don't want to save some bucks and regret later. Rather than being selfless, I would prefer a partner of the similar mindset and goals and travel together. That's me :) I am not saying you are wrong, I respect your point of view and my best wishes are with you to check all your bucket list. Goodluck!
Mon 12 12 16, 02:22 · Reply (1) · Report
I have already written that for those who want to get married I feel very very happy for them. But it's just not my cup of tea. I am clear about what I want in life and what I would regret doing and I have got many examples to prove that. And if I talk about reaching 40 and not able to achieve something like marriage then my friend love and marriage is something that can happen at any age whether I am 25 or 65.
Mon 12 12 16, 07:58 · Report
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