Goa's blamegame

13th Feb 2019
Day 1

A group of friends reached Goa railway station. We were all very excited. A friend who stayed there that time had booked a villa for us. Webl freshened up and went to the beach. Later at night, we grabbed drinks.
Next day, again beach hopping, we went to the cathedrals.
Next day ,we went to aguada fort and did some adventure sports, which was real fun and we were exhausted as shit.
Later, that night, we sat together over a round of card games as we enjoyed our drinks .when we finished all bottles, it was around 1am and we walked to check if any bar or counter was close-by.we went out in our night suits, luckily there was a bar close-by, we drank till we blacked out. We then walked back home, I don't remember how I did that. According to everyone's situation, he/she got settled. Some on bed, some on the couch, some talked in groups of two/three, while I, I went out to the balcony. There was a guy who was my boyfriend's friend, and I recently had a breakup. The guy liked me, but had never told it on my face. He brought two chairs and we sat out at the balcony. I vomitted n number of times, he took me to the washroom in the beginning, but then I started vomitting from the balcony down at the gate. As the night went by, my vomitting also came to a smooth halt. I laid there, reclining on his chest. He touched me, and then put his hands in my pants. I felt him move his hands around my clit and I let him too. He tried to kiss me on the mouth ,but my conscience said it was dirty and I turned my face away. But his hands, they were still in there. It continued for a while, after which probably I got nauseated and went inside the house. I passed out. We went to bed at around 4am, when everyone else was asleep.  So , naturally I awoke late . People were calling out my name, when he came to my bed and checked on my body temperature. His concern and affection for me since then was unbearable for me. I tried to a avoid him throughout the trip after that night. May be it was my guilt. When we reached our places, he tried asking me indirectly about that night, if I remember anything . To which I very confidently faked, no nothing I remember, I was too drunk. He asked me few more times, but I said nothing. I kept avoiding him and it's been that way since.
Not one soul knows anything about that sinful night. Sometimes I blame him, sometimes myself. #offbeatgoa