She came as a surprise to me; finding someone who fits my life so perfectly, so perfectly that I started to believe and hunger for that which I used to think was impossible. It’s usually only a once in a lifetime occurrence. Sure I may get lucky and find two such women within a single lifetime but considering that finding one was already statistically against my favour, I very much doubt I will come across a second.
I wanted to escape, escape the pain of losing someone; a best friend of mine, someone I considered would be with me till I die. I lost her because I fell in love with her, she in anger and irritation broke her friendship with me, telling- “Agar pyaar ho jaye toh dosti nahi reh sakti” (If we fall in love with a friend then the friendship is over). Maybe she was right from her point of view, but my beliefs and experience tell me- “Sacha pyaar bhi achi dosti ke baad hi hota hai” (Only a good friendship can lead to true love) all else is just fake, fake like the love celebrated on Valentine’s Day.
I wanted to escape my place of work, where from the past 4 months the neighbouring office guy plays the title song of “Ae Dil Hai Mushkil” on a loud speaker some dozen times a day and keeps reminding me of my “Ek Tarfa Pyaar”(One sided love). I never stopped him from playing that song; actually I was enjoying it too but the problem was frequent distraction from work.
I wanted to escape, escape from over thinking; over thinking about all that was happening and not happening with me. Thinking and thinking about my over thinking and actually ending up over thinking more. Actually I am happy being in one sided love, at least I am not cheating or running away from my feelings and emotions, I am accepting it and I am strong enough to live in the reality of someone not reciprocating to my feeling. Love is beautiful; be it one sided or two-sided.
I just wanted to reflect on my present state of being. I wanted to escape and find some Me time. I did not want to escape love but just the pain of losing my best friend. Go somewhere all alone, travel to a new place, climb a new mountain, talk to the mountains, observe the nature around, listen to the winds, listen to the music of birds, the sound of the rustling leaves like they are talking to each other, camp in the wild all alone, maybe encounter some wild animals. I was in search of a new experience and I decided upon trekking the “Kumara Parvatha Peak” located in the “Pushpagiri Wildlife Sanctuary”.
My Birthday was on a Friday 20th Jan and I booked a ticket in a sleeper coach bus to Subramanya Town for the same night; It was weekend and easy for me to take out time. Subramanya town is where the famous Kukke Subramanya Temple is located. At night 10.30pm I boarded the bus and climbed up to my upper berth in the bus, pulled down the curtains, plugged in my earphones and started playing “Ae Dil Hai Mushkil”, “Channa Mereya”, “Teri Kher Mangdi”, “Pani Da Rang” & “Koi Fariyad” in a loop. My fav songs these days & I was just enjoying it.