Open Letter to Travellers Who Think They Can't Explore the World After Getting Married

Photo of Open Letter to Travellers Who Think They Can't Explore the World After Getting Married by Kadambari Bhatte (curlytravelmess)

I sat by the window and weeped the whole night, talking to the moon and the shadow of my plants. What is it that I must do to break free? Or am I tied in my own chains? Should I stand up for myself and say - This is what I want!? Or should I quietly go back and hug myself and condemn to the mundane life that I have? Is it me who is stopping myself from flying high? Or is it the society that is bringing me down with their soaring eyes? Questions - I have so many of them, what do I do to answer them?

And then I realised, I have my own answers deep within. Take one step towards what you want, stand tall and keep your head up I whispered to myself, because life is about finding YOU amidst the chaos of responsibilities and chores. Life isn't about getting vanished in the dust, it is about finding yourself no matter what.

Photo of Open Letter to Travellers Who Think They Can't Explore the World After Getting Married 1/1 by Kadambari Bhatte (curlytravelmess)
Bali for the fourth time, and we still found new places! (c) Kadambari Bhatte

Travel, it's that bug that doesn't agree to leave you, unless you decide to cancel all plans and absolutely show no interest towards it.

Dear Traveller,

Travel is that ex, that will keep showing up on your social media feed over and over again, because there's some one else out there trying to show off what they have! Hey you, my fellow travel enthusiast, wherever you are in this world, this open letter is dedicated to you, who thinks your life is going to get over after getting married and you won't be able to fly to various places!

I can still hear these phrases in my mind at times, "Get married. When are you getting married? Why aren't you getting married? Your biological clock is ticking. How come you can't find a guy? There must be some problem with you. You reject too many 'potential candidates'!"

Tell me if you haven't heard or been advised even once of the above and haven't gotten scared or insecure. 

This is why I want to have this open dialogue with YOU. Yes you, who wants to explore the world, see new places, travel, learn new things, but is scared or rather convinced that marriage is going to ruin it all! And, I am not saying life is going to be the same after marriage. There is going to be that extra responsibility of your partners expectations, in-laws and then the pressure of having kids (you can choose not to have kids too you know)!

Before finding my life partner I used to think, "Let me travel as much as I can before I get married, because who knows what's going to happen next?" And, surprisingly I ended up travelling much more than I ever used to! How? Because we both wanted the same things, may be not exactly all of it, but travel has always been on the of top of our list.

Isn't this what majority of us think like? I know how much we get worried under the pressure of buying that house before getting married, and settling down. Especially boys, who have to carry that burden of owning the perfect apartment, because they want their future wife to be happy and secure! But what about keeping a little aside to see new things together?

If you are some one for whom, house, car, or any other major responsibility is of more importance, then ignore this article. 

And yes for them who have to be there for their parents, and have kids it is a challenge, but going on a weekend or a day trip is totally a possibility, isn't it? Give it a try once, you might agree. But, lets say you both can't travel together, can't you support each other and encourage each other to make your own respective plans? Solo travel isn't as bad as you think, all it need is trust. Who said being married means you only have to travel with your partner? Your friends who are still single are still there waiting for you to join them, and those various groups of solo travellers, groups especially for women are out there to help you fly wherever you want to!

Just because you are married, does not mean your life is over! There are people like us who still go on solo trips, who still plan trips with their groups and still save for those trips which are written down on some page of the journal.

What Makes Travelling Fun After Marriage?

You always have a travel partner ready, and you won't have to deal with friends who keep cancelling their plans to Goa anymore!

1. You Always Have Your Partner in Crime To Share Stories

Travel creates innumerable memories, especially the funny times! The times when you embarrassed yourself, or the times when when you met new people. Travelling together helps you close yet discover new places! And you always have each others back when there is a difficult situation.

2. You feel safe because you are a team together

Travelling with your spouse or your partner is like a small team that no one can defeat! You are always winning because you have each other all the times. Yes you will always have your differences, but when you love someone, everything is a piece of cake!

3. You have someone to take your pictures!

Lets accept it, Instagram husbands are real! (slow clap) A lot of women wouldn't have all those #instaworthy pictures without their hubby taking 50 pictures of you in the same spot!

4. You aren't answerable to parents or society anymore!

Finally, you are travelling with your favourite person without being answerable to not just parents, but anyone in this world! I know, a lot of you will say, 'but we aren't answerable to anyone.' Really? Wasn't there a single time when you felt, you wish you didn't have someone you loved with you on your travels without having to explain who they are? Well, we live in a judgemental society, but we ourselves also wish we had someone with us at times!

5. You get to explore the world together, and keep that spark alive!

Marriage means work. Yes, its not easy, but its not a punishment either! Lets say its a blessing in disguise which needs to be worked on, just like any relationship, including ourselves. And, travel is that medicine that keeps it going. You see the world together, meet new people, explore new cultures, and even fight in different destinations all over the world!

I know, a lot of you might think - she doesn't know, her life isn't as hard as ours. And, let me tell you that no ones life is perfect, we have to choose and pick our battles, and yes some battles are assigned to us by destiny, but even then, pick your blessings. Count those blessings everyday, write down those wishes in your journal. Explain to your partner why travel is so important before you marry them, and do not get married until you are convinced that you have found the right one. Because life is all about exploring new things together, not about struggling to find common things amongst each other after you have committed. Go with the flow, but don't forget you are a stream after all that loves to flow!

If you liked this article don't forget to like it, and let me know in the comments if you think there's something we could learn.

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