What do I wish for?
Life is too short to cry with regrets and all mistakes made are actually blessings in disguise.
We all know these things and I am no different than all of us. I know it and I live by it but still when in my day to day life I am asked with things like what do I want in my life then sometimes I take a reverse gear while crossing each of those junctions or forks in road, I think that “what if I had taken the other road then may be my life would have been simpler to explain.” Right then and there I get an instant reaction from my brain/body or subconscious mind (whatever that thing is) that naaah.. If I would have walked the other way then I would not have been here today.
Yes I am somewhere in middle. Yes I am unsure of what future holds for me and yes I may be deluded a little but this is exactly the way it should be. This is what gives me freedom to decide on the course of my life, which gives me power to make my own decisions and to experience things which actually gives Happiness.
Then another question comes my way from my friends, my cab mates, my family and even from myself at times that “Don’t I want someone to love me?, a family? children? Long term goals? A house? A big car? A flourishing business?”
My answer- May be I want all of these or maybe some of these things in my life. May be I want to be known as someone who changed the world or a women who stood by her beliefs and gave strength to many others to stand on theirs. May be I want my name to go down in history as someone who dreamt and had strength to see it all come true or it’s quite possible that it I will go down in history of only my immediate net of friends and family as someone who tried and fought a lot but made a fool of herself.
Whatever I may be or may not be referred to as in my eulogy it won’t matter to me as I will be dead. LOL. So when I am alive lets live to the fullest. While I am alive all I want is to feel that sense of self, to know what life is, to hear everything nature has to offer and to breathe the air we are meant to breath.
I want to hear fainted Rajasthan folk music coming from a distant village while in desert and a sky full of stars above me.
I want to see the flames of wood fire on a cold night on top of a mountain.
I want to play with kids who speak language I have no clue of.
I want to dance with strangers while embracing their culture.
image from http://utgsa.com/
I want to see smiles on faces I have never seen before in my life.
I might also run in wilderness someday.
May be someday I will surf on a vast ocean.
I might fall in love this time for real with a real man.
Who knows, may be I will become a chef someday or a director or may be an actor or what about a writer (where are the rules which says I can not do everything?)
I wish to fly in the sky and see everything my eyes could see.
Maybe I will finally lose weight.
I want to cook Thai food and drink French wine with that while sitting in my house in Spain.
May be I want to live with 100 children and teach them dance and different languages.
May be I will find a partner in all these crimes or may be I will find a deeper form of myself.
May be I will be given National Award someday.
Or maybe one day when I have met with age and beautiful deep wrinkles then I am sitting in my cozy home on top of a mountain. I am near my fire place with a giant cup of hot chocolate and a spread of photographs in front of me of my complete life which was filled with hope, energy, passion, love, desire, craziness, wilderness and Happiness.
(all images are from Google search but may be one day I will have my own huge collection of photographs)